articles

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    How Our Relationships Protect Us Against Stress

    - by Welldoing

    Amphibians and reptiles are born raring to go and require little parenting to get a good start in life. We humans are born in a helpless state and rely on nurturance for our early survival. Indeed, there is no species on earth that is born more helpless (altricial) than we are. It is not surprising then that attachment insecurity may trigger our disease pathways by increasing our stress. Survival strategy Our survival strategy is therefore locked in and plays…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Are There Any Benefits to Being Introverted?

    - by Welldoing

    Personality traits such as introversion and sensitivity can make people more likely to experience fear and anxiety. However, they also tend to have many positive qualities, including creativity and compassion. Part of what causes anxiety is the intensity of emotions and energy absorbed from others. So doing something creative helps to channel that energy and release negative feelings. Find what you are passionate about and do it. You will not…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    How Therapy Can Reveal Opportunity in Midlife Crisis

    - by Welldoing

    Midlife crisis is a subject of many jokes – a balding man in a red sports car comes to mind. Yet it does not seem funny if we look at the statistics. Research consistently confirms that people in their 40s and 50s are the least happy age group around. So if you are a forty or fifty something and are feeling unhappy, irritable, “stuck”, depressed – you are not alone.…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    When Reality Doesn’t Meet Expectation

    - by Welldoing

    One of the great challenges we all face at some point in our lives is how to accept and live with situations that we do not want to accept. These challenges can range from major life-changing events such as the death of a loved one, serious illness, assault, unexpected infertility, through to less catastrophic life disappointments. What links these experiences is the unexpected rupture of the person’s ‘assumptive’ world and…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Susie Orbach: “Every Therapy Client Craves Acceptance”

    - by Welldoing

    Therapy is a different way of talking and a different way of hearing. Therapy is as much a listening cure as it is a talking cure. Hearing one’s words in a space in which they aren’t necessarily interrupted or soothed but just hang, means they can reverberate. The individual hears whether the words that have emerged are the right words. They are brought face to face with what lives inside…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Moving from Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion

    - by Welldoing

    The world around us can be competitive, ruthless and judgemental. We take this for granted. It is considered the norm to strive for top academic grades; have a successful career; a glittering social life and a toned body; whilst simultaneously presenting a social media profile showcasing all of this. When we are always ‘doing’ and striving towards the next milestone, our inner voice is often not a kind and encouraging…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Can You Grieve Something You Never Had?

    - by Welldoing

    There is no such thing as a perfect childhood. But some of us end up in therapy because our childhoods were missing something. Or had too much of something. Or, when combined with our genetic inheritance and our unique brand of frailty, were not quite what we needed to help us grow into adults capable of self-actualisation. For a long time I’ve known that therapy cannot simply ‘make up for’…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Why do Married People Look the Same?

    - by Welldoing

    Sometimes I look in the mirror and see someone else’s face staring back at me. Most people look like a mix of their parents. Their father’s nose and their mother’s eyes. Their dad’s jawline and their mother’s hair. When I look in the mirror, though – particularly when I’ve just had a haircut – I see my brother. Only five years apart, we look a lot alike. Similar facial structure,…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Psychotherapy: Change or Acceptance?

    - by Cristiano Bruschi

    ‘Once we accept our limits we go beyond them’ ~ Albert Einstein     Many people see counselling and psychotherapy as something that would allow them to make small or big changes in their lives. Some other people might want to explore specific life situations and seek support to manage them in a healthy way.   In my experience of therapy I can say that I have witnessed many changes…

  • Counselling and Psychotherapy

    Are Stigma And Shame Still Attached To Seeking Counselling?

    - by Cristiano Bruschi

    Is seeking counselling and psychotherapy still considered by most people as something that needs to be kept hidden from everyone else?   The answer may be linked to the difficult relationship that society has with mental health. For most people difficulties and mental health issues are signs of weakness that needs to be concealed at any cost. Perhaps this feeling amplifies the power of their internal critic that often or occasionally says to…